I was arguing with myself over nothing important for anyone to know and i started to think about how people change, and how others, no matter how hard they try, always seem to stay the same. for humans, change is a necessary skill in order to survive. Everyday our culture is constantly being shifted depending on our life. for some species this is not always true. for example, a bee's life varies on its job in the nest. but depending on that job will decide what and how it will be doing for the rest of it's life no matter how short it may be. So then Can we really define who we are? can anyone honestly label themselves and be that way for the rest of their lives? No. our thoughts and ideas will never be concrete. and this sort of thing troubles me because ive always thought that my goal.. for the time being is to figure out who i am, but when i start to look at the world around me and realize that i can't have that. So have i been in this constant struggle for nothing? have i put all my effort in search for something that couldnt be done? If that were to be true then what? how could i take this all in? am i just to stare in defeat as once again i have foiled my own plans? Is, the most underused yet forever remembered cliche actually true?

You are your own worst enemy.

what a terrible realization.
but by closely examining everyone, to understand why and how one person were to get a specific label and then test the theory that it is a universally acclaimed knowledge, only to discover that it IS true.. it just.. hurts. down inside that these questions are something we all have to eventually give in to. we all have to admit that these things are true and that we will never have one true self. we will never be the same, and yes, every day IS different. and not just the weather or whats on television but the people and the world around us, its just all in this constant struggle for something that doesnt exist.

We strive for a better place, and when we think we've finally achieved it, one day here the next day gone, there will always be that variable, in a world where everything is perfect we cant help but subject ourselves to want something different. Sure we'll be happy but that will never be enough, and it just turns into this sick cycle that will never be broken. you doubt that now but look at everything, we've gotten so far what else is there? and to what end do we look for?

Humans, we crave chaos. you see it in our literature, our movies, in EVERy creative outlet of the human race shows some sort of chaos, where no order can exist because we choose to make it that way. and dont even get me started on love.

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odd how i get more attention from writing about something everyone relates to
opposed to me writing about my own personal problems..
something to do with how much everyone on here actually cares about me.
ha..
haha.